Case 39 (2009)
By: Christian Alvart (director), Ray Wright (writer)
Starring: Renée Zellweger, Jodelle Ferland, Ian McShane, Kerry O’Malley, Callum Keith Rennie, Bradley Cooper
A social worker (Zellweger) fights to save a girl from her abusive parents, only to discover that the situation is more dangerous than she ever expected.
You know what I would really love? If Renée Zellweger would cease in making that squinty-eyed duck face and claiming it’s acting. That would be really swell. Case 39 is about as unremarkable a horror film as you can get, and Zellweger’s lop-sided version of Blue Steel only makes it worse. Has she actually done anything since Jerry Maguire that’s worth watching?
I would get into the plot, but it honestly doesn’t matter. What we have here is a shoddy rip-off of The Ring that accomplishes very little other than obliterating any desire to continue watching it. It is convoluted and unconvincing.
Bradley Cooper has a look about him that generally leaves me feeling vaguely skeevy, but his character is surprisingly likeable in this and possibly the only bright spot in the whole thing. It makes perfect sense, then, that he is killed about halfway through the film by demon wasps flying out of his orifices. But hey, I am okay with you now, Bradley Cooper, so at least I can take that much from the plodding tedium that was watching Case 39. Maybe I’ll finally suck it up and watch The Hangover. There is no way that drunken bromance can be as bad as this shit.
I didn’t even realise this ever got released. Wow.
Apparently it did, just so that I could waste my time on it.
Has she actually done anything since Jerry Maguire that’s worth watching?
Cold Mountain? That’s about all I can think of where I really liked her. Then again, there’s definitely duck-face in it, so.
RZ was good in Cold Mountain, but it was a truly terrible movie. And I say that as a huge Jude Law fan. So, I don’t really rank it as “worth watching.”